1:40 and I’m back in the office, having knocked three things sprinkler related from my list. I’ve found a bottle of water in my fridge and I’m eating leftover Starburst for lunch.
Why in the world did people fall for bottled water, anyway? Something is definitely wrong with us, naming our water like we do. The oceans I can understand; even lakes (although in Minnesota I think half the lakes are called Round Lake, the other half Long Lake, and the other half is for all the rest. Yes, that’s right. Three halves. Minnesota has so many lakes they need three halves to account for all the names.) I’m off track.
I have, of course, been forced to add things to my to-do list, and now I am officially backsliding my way into my vacation. I usually board planes completely out of energy, scuffed up with gravel still stuck in my hair, which probably explains the frequent searches I must endure. But I’m usually so tired that the inconvenience seems like nothing more then a bad dream. Did you know that a recent study showed that two out of ten Americans now prefer alien abduction over public air transportation, largely in part to the repetitive nature of the security measures currently being used.
“Sure the aliens probe,” said an unidentified man, “but at least once they check you out they’re done with you. Last time I flew, I had to take off my belt and shoes four times. Now that’s irritating.”
To the reports! And Brian’s phone call! And lest we forget, the IRS. Can’t forget those folks, can we. We would, but they won’t let us. I think I’ll explain my accounting methods using my three-halves Minnesota lake example.
See you in prison!
Hey, I bet in the future we discover that aliens are really just a select branch of the IRS, sent out to seek and destroy loopholes.