Last Monday Imaginary Keith and I called an emergency meeting, agreeing to meet in the closet.  The ghost, still safely trapped in the pickle jar was in attendance, and as luck would have it agreed to keep the minutes.  Did you know that keeping minutes is an important function of maintaining your company’s corporate status?  The keeping of minutes shows to the world that not only are you serious about being a corporation, but that you can prove it.  I guess this basically means that when you write something down, and more specifically, write down what people say and in what order, you are conducting serious business.

“Just a second here,” I said, directing my interruption towards the jar sitting between Imaginary Keith and myself.  The meeting hadn’t even begun and already we were having trouble, which of course, is normal.  The minutes would prove that.

“Don’t you need a pen and some paper if you’re going to keep minutes?” I wasn’t sure having the ghost as secretary was going to be a good idea.

“Do you see any hands swirling around in here?  No, ghosts don’t need paper to keep minutes.  Now, call the meeting to order before I do and you get the privilege of keeping the minutes.”

“Hey, you volunteered.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I volunteered for something out of boredom, I’ll tell you that.  What else am I supposed to do?  Do I get to vote?”

“You’re not a shareholder.”

“What kind of company is this, anyway, holding corporate meetings in a closet?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, ghost,” Imaginary Keith said.  “You make fine company.” I could hear the jar shake around a little in the darkness.  I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.  But given the circumstances…

“Good Lord!  Call the meeting before I bust out of here!”

“This meeting is called to order,” I said.  “Our first order of business will be in regards to income.”

“I second that,” Imaginary Keith said.

“More like lack of income, I’d say,” the ghost said.

“There’s nothing on the table to second, Imaginary Keith.  And you, be quiet in there.  I’ll remind you a second time, you’re not a shareholder.  Just write down what we’re saying.”

“And I’ll remind you a second time, ghosts don’t write.”

“Hey!  What are you two seconding?” Imaginary Keith asked.  “I thought you said there was nothing to second?”

The ghost swirled around a bit.  “You want me to record this?  Are you sure you want the world to know what goes on at these meetings?”

“Okay, okay, everyone just stop talking for a second.”

“Ummm...”

“Don’t say it.  Now, we’re going to start this meeting over like a real corporate meeting and get it right the first time.  Got it?”

“I second that!” Imaginary Keith said.

“Any problems with that, ghost?” Silence from the jar.  “Now, are we ready?”

The ghost cleared his throat, or anyway, made a sound like he had a throat and something to say.

“Yes?”

“Don’t you need to adjourn the first meeting before moving onto the second?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, except for this here jar deal, I don’t mind being stuck in eternity too bad, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want it to be that eternity, if you know what I mean.”

For not being a shareholder, the ghost had a good point.

“You’re right.  Meeting adjourned.”

“Alright!” Imaginary Keith burst out of the closet.  “I hate corporate meetings.”

“What do you mean?  We’re meeting again, after we regain our composure.”

“When?  Tomorrow?”

“I was thinking more like right now.”

“That soon?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel composed whatsoever.”

“You’re imaginary.  You’re the definition of composed.”

“In that case, I’m just not ready.”

“Ten minutes, then?  Ghost, ten minutes sound good?”

“What’s time to a ghost?  In my world the meeting has already taken place.  Want me to read back the minutes for you?”

“Would you?” Imaginary Keith said.  “Save me a whole lot of trouble.”

“Hold it.  We’re having that meeting, even if we’ve already had it.  I’m the major shareholder here, if you two will recall, so if I say time is linear, then time is linear.  Majority rules.”

“So that’s how time works,” Imaginary Keith said.

“Well, not if you ask--”

“No one is asking you, ghost.  We’ll call to order in ten minutes.  Don’t be late.”

The ghost, of course, looked as if he had something to say, but bit his tongue.  Or whatever it is ghosts do to shut themselves up.  Didn’t matter.  The jar remained silent.