Give me a moment. I’m playing modern day millwright, busily shredding 15 years of accumulated paperwork into a fine paper grist.
In the morning I’ll bake a loaf of bread. It’ll taste like $3,500 Packard Bell memories and will warm up extremely slow. The first bite will remind me of the days of no frills, nothing fancy. The second bite will remind me of eating organic food - good for you at the moment, but nice when it’s over. The third bite I will spit out.
Just like I did the $3,500 Packard Bell, at a garage sale, three years after buying it, for something like $100. I haggled over the price with very little enthusiasm and the blinking DOS cursor just sat there, watching the whole thing.
Or maybe it was cussing me out. It was always hard to tell with DOS. Not like today’s computers, who really know how to show you when they’re pissed off.
Anyway, back to the shredder. I’ve almost worked my way into an exciting pile of late 80’s toaster oven receipts, or lifetime warranty muffler receipts for cars I don’t own, or some such nonsense.