Dear Ann,

It seems you have found your way to an old article of mine from last March which dealt with the mysterious Sphinx cat.  First off, let me thank you for taking the time to not only stop by, but ask a direct and very clear question.  Thank you.

Let me take a moment to answer your question.  No, I do not have any female Sphinx kittens for sale at this time, nor do I know where you might be able to find such a beautiful, hairless, creature.  While I do enjoy cats, I can’t actually claim to be a cat fancier.  My own cat goes by the name Barn Cat, because, you see, he lives in the barn.  A true cat fancier would never name their cat based solely on where their cat spends most of its time.  I imagine if I had a Sphinx cat, either male or female, I would end up naming it Sweater Cat, because surely a cat with no hair spends much of it’s life wrapped up tightly in a sweater.

But it is easy to understand how I might be mistaken for a cat fancier, given the fact that I was comparing men to Sphinx cats.  That, I would agree, seems like a leap that only a true cat lover would take.  I’m not sure why I wrote the article.  Maybe, just like you, I was moved by the grace and flow of the Sphinx.  There are just some things in life that are hard to look away from.

I can assure you, however, that should I become a cat fancier in the future, I will file all articles concerning the proper care and breeding of cats under a category suitably titled.  Something like Feline Friends or Cat Crap.  I promise you (and all other cat fanciers) that I would do a much better job of separating my posts, making sure that all serious cat-related articles never find their way into the Exaggeration category.  That would just be wrong.

Good luck, Ann, in your search for your new female Sphinx kitten.  I wish you all the success in the world.  I should confess that I’ve never actually even seen one, other then in pictures, so I’m guessing there aren’t any around here.  But like I always say, if someone has a picture of something, then it must be out there somewhere.

I’d write more, but I need to get back to my friend.  He’s sick in bed, but being well-tended by a very nice group of nurses.

Dear Technical God,

What’s all the excitement about gmail accounts?  I keep reading about other people’s excitement but seem to know nothing about them.  Why is everyone so excited?  Should I be too?  All I know is that it’s some sort of google thing, which causes a real dilemma.  How can I ask google to tell me the answer when it’s something of theirs.  Wouldn’t that be like asking the dentist if you have a cavity?  Of course he’d say yes.

So, you see, without google, my faith in you is once again restored. 

So if you care even one tiny bit about a technological sinner like me, you’ll give me some sort of sign.  Something to help me see my way.  Something that will make everything clear about gmail.  Maybe something slick like flash animation, only way faster and easy to understand.  Maybe something that would look good even with a slow, dial-up service.  Could you do that for me?

Whatever you do, don’t think you need to test this renewed faith of mine by crashing my computers.  That would be just plain mean.

Faithfully yours until something better and faster comes along,

Imaginary Keith

Homage

Hom"age, n. [OF. homage, homenage, F. hommage, LL. hominaticum, homenaticum, from L. homo a man, LL. also, a client, servant, vassal; akin to L. humus earth, Gr.? on the ground, and E. groom in bridegroom. Cf. Bridegroom, Human.] 1. (Feud. Law) A symbolical acknowledgment made by a feudal tenant to, and in the presence of, his lord, on receiving investiture of fee, or coming to it by succession, that he was his man, or vassal; profession of fealty to a sovereign.

2. Respect or reverential regard; deference; especially, respect paid by external action; obeisance.

All things in heaven and earth do her [Law] homage. --Hooker.

The givers of gifts unsought deserve homage like no other. --Ecklund

3. Reverence directed to the Supreme Being; reverential worship; devout affection. --Chaucer.

Syn: Fealty; submission; reverence; honor; respect.

Usage: Homage, Fealty. Homage was originally the act of a feudal tenant by which he declared himself, on his knees, to be the hommage or bondman of the lord; hence the term is used to denote reverential submission or respect. Fealty was originally the fidelity of such a tenant to his lord, and hence the term denotes a faithful and solemn adherence to the obligations we owe to superior power or authority. We pay our homage to men of pre["e]minent usefulness and virtue, and profess our fealty to the principles by which they have been guided.

Go, go with homage yon proud victors meet! Go, lie like dogs beneath your masters’ feet! --Dryden.

On one knee, with great respect and thankfulness, Imaginary Keith thanks Lady E of Purple Pen for her kind and generous invitation to Gmail.  When he offered up a prayer to the great and powerful Technical god, he had no way of imagining that it would instead be answered by a caring and friendly mortal.

The world is indeed a strange and wonderful place.  Gifts from strangers.  Email for imaginary people.

Every once in awhile I’ll take a quick peek at the Technorati list for my site, just to see who’s around.  The list is small and moves up and down slowly, like a sleeping man’s chest.  I peek at it, just to see if I’m still alive.

This morning, a mystery appeared.  Or at least I like to think of it as a mystery.  It could just be a mistake.  The newest site appearing on the list, Doomocracy, had apparently decided they enjoyed the hijinx here at Word Shadows and linked us.  Naturally, I clicked over.  It’s good to know who has their hand in your pocket.  Or sings your praises.  Or whatever.

And then the mystery began.  Nowhere on the Doomocracy page was the name Word Shadows listed.  Hmmm?  This is curious.  Had the two of us been duped by Technorati?  What was going on here?  So back to Technorati I went, where a moment later, my hovering pointer discovered that the link to my site was listed not as Word Shadows, but as Opinions You Should Have.  Hmmm.

Now, Opinions You Should Have, I soon found out, is something completely different.  It’s not Word Shadows at all, and I’m beginning to think that a mistake has been made.  Opinions You Should Have, you see, looks like the kind of friend Doomocracy would hang out with.  I can see the two sites sitting together at a table outside of a Starbucks, pounding down venti something or others with quadruple shots, talking politics until the cows come home.  Or at least until closing time.

My only other theory is the set-up, stolen identity theft theory.  This theory basically assumes that Word Shadows is being set-up for some sort of political fall.  That Word Shadows will soon be accused of stealing the hard work of Opinions You Should Have.  Why else would someone click on a link, thinking they are on their way to some good wholesome political humor and random musings, compliments of Tom Burka, only to be tossed directly into the Word Shadows tar pit?

I know it’s not true, and even I have a hard time believing it.

Monday morning.  Not even 8:00, and it already stinks like crime in here.